the wedding

the wedding

He went to his niece’s wedding
and because he was old
it wasn’t the kind of wedding

where he stood the maid of honor
against a wall
in the coat closet
and fucked the be-jesus outta her.
So some of you
may want to stop reading right now.

It was the kind of wedding
where his brother
had just spent the last eight years
destroying his mother’s estate
and his brother’s financial future
while fraudulently posing
as the sole trustee.

It was the kind of wedding
where all the guests---
relatives, friends, schoolmates,
relatives of relatives, girlfriends of friends,
had no idea
or at least pretended they had no idea
that a terrible and protracted family crime
had just been committed.

It was the kind of wedding
where everybody there
preferred to celebrate
the union of two lovely, decent,
hardworking young people
instead of dragging the father of the bride outside
and disemboweling him
and then tying him to four horses
and slapping the horses’ asses
so they galloped off in four directions
and ripped him limb from limb.

It was the kind of wedding
where the only misery
which WAS acknowledged
was the terminal lung cancer
of the mother of the bride,
though that might be in remission.
No one would know until she took
a tumor-hunting CAT scan
the day after the wedding
which would either give her
life
or death.

It was the kind of wedding
where the father of the bride,
he who had inexplicably destroyed the estate,
gave a weepy tribute to his daughter
and new son-in-law
without mentioning a word
about his financial, ethical, and psychological crimes
of the past eight years.

It was the kind of wedding
where the mother of the bride
had written a poison pen letter
to her brother-in-law several months before,
essentially blaming him for her
and her husband's
crimes against the estate, against him,
and against his dead mother and father,
because it was easier to do that
than to face her own
and her husband's
guilt.

It was the kind of wedding
which was all about celebrating
the present and future
of the lovely young couple
as well as about selectively ignoring
the crimes of the past.
And who was to say, under the circumstances,
that wasn’t the best strategy?

It was that kind of wedding.